Define… “Cheating”

Define cheating as a couple to make sure neither one of you make a mistake.

It seems that there used to be a definition of dating many years ago.  The lines were clear and it was easy to judge what was and was not allowed.  Over the years, people have become a lot more open about their sexual relationships and desires, and relationship boundaries are often ‘smudged’.  When you get into a relationship with someone, you need to clearly define cheating and what you both believe it is.

Some questions to start with may be:

Is it cheating if either one of you….

  • go to the strip club?
  • get a lap dance?
  • have coffee with someone you find attractive?
  • go to dinner and a show with someone you find attractive?
  • cuddle with someone?
  • kiss someone while playing a game of truth or dare when you are both present?
  • kiss someone while playing a game of truth or dare when the other person is not present?
  • dance sexually with another person at a night club?
  • lightly kiss another person?
  • passionately kiss another person?
  • have phone sex or cyber-sex with another person?
  • kiss a celebrity?
  • kiss or make out with someone of the same sex?
  • give oral sex?
  • receive oral sex?
  • you have sex with someone vacation?
  • watch porn?
  • masturbate while watching porn?
  • get a ‘happy ending’ massage

The list can go on forever, which is why it’s important that you sit down together and make a clear outline of what is cheating and what is not.  Some women don’t mind their man going out with the boys to a strip club, but may draw the line at getting a lap dance.  Some couples have a list of celebrities that if they ever had the chance (highly unlikely in most cases)they would be allowed to have sex with.  Many couples take it further – and allow their significant other to have sex with other people as long as they know about it.

You don’t know what type of relationship your man is used to being in, and vice versa – so you must define cheating in your relationship at the beginning so nobody gets hurt.  You may not agree on everything, but that’s okay – you can always compromise – just make sure that if you say it’s okay, you mean it.  And don’t stray from the rules you have set up.