I like this new guy, but he has a history of cheating. Am I setting myself up for disaster?
If you’re in a new relationship with a man who has a history of being unfaithful, you may be wondering if he’s actually a good choice to pursue. Knowing his history of cheating will likely make you suspicious of his behavior right from the beginning. However, people can change in the right circumstances, and if you think this might be the man for you, proceed slowly and talk to him about the following things:
Understand His Previous Relationships
You know he has a history of cheating. You need to understand why he cheated. Ask him about what was going on in his past relationships when he opted to cheat. Usually there is a reason for such behavior. Maybe he wasn’t in love anymore, or he wasn’t satisfied in bed. The more you understand what caused it in the past, the better you can understand how to keep it from happening in the future.
Ask Him To Be Transparent
Let him know that you have concerns about his past of cheating and that it makes you nervous to begin dating him. He needs to be transparent with you. Let him know you need to build up the trust with him, and you need him to be as open and honest as he can possibly be to show you that you can trust him. No little white lies – as harmless as they seem when he tells them – it will make you suspicious of anything he says.
Make sure you keep the communication lines open throughout your relationship. If one of the reasons he cheated in the past was bedroom boredom, ask him what sort of things he’d like to try out with you. Keep it exciting. The most important thing is good communication. Don’t keep things bottled up. If there is tension in the air – clear it. Being in a relationship where he feels free to say what he wants, and knows it will be respected – will keep him happy and less likely to stray.
He Can Change
There are many people out there who had a history of cheating and are now in faithful relationships or marriages. When men cheat it is often because of something wrong in the relationship. All it usually takes is a truly great relationship to make your man settle down. If you are the right one for him – he won’t want to stray.